The Road w/ Anna Part 8
For weeks Ana dealt with having to face Trent in class then going off with Dmitri for romantic dinners and each time it broke her in half. One night after she and Dmitri slept together she sat out on the balcony to write in her notebook of everything she had been feeling since that horrible night. Then afterwards she wrote a letter to her mother that she would soon send out into the waters.
Mom,
What do I do? The one I’ve always wanted has finally confessed that he cared for me the same way I cared for him yet he hasn’t spoken the words I need to hear. Is it wrong to have just accepted that and allowed him back into my life after months of being around someone else who’s brought me so much happiness? Everyday I look at Dmitri and wish he were someone else. I’m supposed to love him for who he is yet all I can think about is Trent and all that we’ve done together. It would figure that once I left my life back in one place it would haunt me in another. I never thought I would be in this dilemma at my age but here I am stuck in a triangle. I can’t hurt Dmitri because of what I’ve done by falling for someone else. I don’t know what to do with myself but all I do know is that tomorrow is the final jam and I’m about to go on stage alone. I hope you’ll be with me at least. You’re all I’ve got left that I know I haven’t disappointed after all this time.
Your loving daughter,
Anastasia Rose
Ana looked up at the stars that twinkled above her as a light breeze drifted across the caldera. Even though everyone was here she still felt so alone at that moment as if life had been sucked right out of her. That’s when she knew that she couldn’t go through with the performance. She couldn’t face all those people and since when he would be watching. She looked down to see him speaking to another girl and saw as the girl placed a hand to his arm. It was his girlfriend from back in the states and they were together again by the looks of it. That’s when she knew that she really couldn’t do it while her heart kept breaking every time she looked down at him. She had screwed up with falling for someone who loved the one who left him while she had finally got Dmitri.
Dmitri came out onto the balcony wearing nothing but his boxers as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, “Why aren’t you in bed? I thought you were tired after all that?”
She looked up at him, “Just couldn’t sleep I guess. You should really get some rest, Dime. You’ve got a long flight ahead of you after all.”
He smiled, “I can sleep on the plane. What’s on your mind? You look as if something fell from the sky and killed you.”
She shrugged her shoulders; “I guess I’m just lost in thought about the last couple of days I have left here. Greece really changed how I thought about a couple of things. I’m not sure how I can go back into the swing of things once I leave this place. I’m not sure I’d even want to go back after all that’s happened here.”
Dmitri leaned down to face her, “I can see how much you love it here, Annie, but don’t you think it’s time to just think of this as another one of those experiences that you can take with you? I mean I know that I caused our friendship to move on to something more in a matter of a couple of weeks since I came here but I can tell that something happened long before I made it this far.”
Ana looked down at him as he knelt down in front of her, “Something did happen but I’ve realized that it wasn’t real. Just another one of those distractions that seems to get in the way.”
Just then the phone rang and Dmitri went inside to answer it. He came out after a few minuets with blood drained from his face. He leaned down to look her in the eye sadly, “I have some bad news, Annie, your brothers’ in the hospital in critical condition. One of the tourists found him floating in the caldera not too far from here and when they found him he was alive but weak. The doctors want you to go to him because he keeps asking for you.”
Ana quickly stood and went inside to get dressed just as she felt her heart racing in her chest. Dmitri called for a cab that would take the both of them to Athens. Once they arrived Ana went straight into the room where they held her brother. From what she could see he looked weak and frail. She slowly touched his hand causing him to quickly wake up.
He held her hand in his as he whispered, “I’m so sorry, Annie. I didn’t mean to cause all this trouble.”
Ana sat down in the nearest chair as tears threatened to fall, “Why did you do it, James? Why did you hurt yourself in the first place?”
He looked over at her with tears in his eyes, “She came back and told me that she didn’t love me anymore. I couldn’t live without her and it hurt so much knowing I lost her. I’ve been fighting it for so long that I just couldn’t take it anymore, Annie. I just didn’t think about how you would feel if I told you since you’ve been so happy. I couldn’t risk that.”
Ana looked out through the window of the closed door that separated them from Dmitri, “You really think that I’ve been happy, Jack? Truth is I’ve been faking it just to see if I could feel that way again. I’m not happy when I should be with Trent and not Dmitri. Nikki hurt you and that much I know all too well of but killing yourself won’t bring her back. She made her decision by leaving you behind for a reason.” She then looked at him with a shake of her head, “Don’t make the same mistake I did by passing up someone who’s too good for you. Letting go is the hardest part but seeing them happy is worth dealing with the regrets of the past.”
Jack looked over at the wall, “It wasn’t supposed to be like this though. She would come back with an apology and everything would go back to how they should be. We would go to Daytona together and eventually start a family of our very own. She wouldn’t have to give up that baby for adoption and I wouldn’t have to hate her for giving up something that meant something to the both of us. Regret is all I have left, Ana.”
Ana shook her head, “What baby? Did you get her pregnant and neglected to tell me about it?”
He shook his head bitterly, “It was Dmitri’s. I didn’t want to tell you because I knew how much it would hurt you if you knew the truth that it was his and not mine even though it could have been. Nikki and I never got that far no matter how much I wanted it to. You were so happy to finally have him to yourself that I couldn’t risk having you look at me as if I betrayed you. Dmitri’s a great guy and all but he still needs to do some growing up if he ever wants to make things work with you. You always told me that honesty is key and now is my time to be honest with you. Don’t hate him for leaving her because of what happened. It was an honest mistake on both of their parts.”
Ana looked out the window once more, “I can’t believe he never told me after all those times we spent together. He never once mentioned what happened with her. Maybe it’s a good thing that I’ve doubted him for so long. I always had a feeling something wasn’t right.” She held onto her brothers’ hand, “I guess we were born to make the same mistakes in falling for the wrong people all along, Jackie. We just have to figure out a way through it is all. Time was taken from us long before we were ever meant to understand the reasons behind it.”
“It’s up to us in how we choose to abide by it.” Jack reasoned with her, “Especially when you know that your time is almost up.”
Ana looked down sadly remembering how they’ve been avoiding the subject since they got the prognosis that Jack had cancer. It was hereditary from his fathers’ side and even though he had been responding to the treatments it didn’t take away the pain enough to fight that it was still there. He looked healthy but still very sick underneath it all. There were reasons she protected him from so much and keeping him alive was one of them. She had fought too long to lose someone she loved so much as it was. Her brother was all that she had left of their mother and she knew that if she lost him then she would lose who she was yet time was slowly slipping by no matter what she did to try to stop it.
She needed a drink right away at that point and something to help her sleep through the night. It was all too much to handle at that point and she hadn’t slept well in months due to all of the worrying she was forced to go through. She just didn’t know what to do at that point with her brother now having to go through yet another set of treatments to prevent a relapse and discovering that Dmitri fathered a child without her ever knowing. It had seemed that she had lost sight somewhere along the way and now everything was falling a part right in front of her very eyes. Right then she just needed to be by herself to process all of this before she could speak to anyone.
Tears sprang to her eyes as she left the hospital leaving Dmitri behind with her brother. She ran as far as the shore where she took up her shoes and tossed them to the side as she stripped down to her underwear. She quickly dove into the water and swam until she couldn’t move another muscle. She lay there in the water drifting as she felt her body slowly sink down into the depths. Not one thought crossed her mind as she sank until her need for air overcame that while the need to live even though she just wanted it all to end. She just wanted all of the betrayal and lies to just disappear as she felt herself drown.
